How To Clearly Tell Your Wife To Lose Weight

If you are wondering how you can tell your wife she needs to lose weight, there are several steps you can take that will make the process go smoother.

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If you are wondering how you can tell your wife she needs to lose weight, there are several steps you can take that will make the process go smoother.

Losing weight is hard. Telling someone else they need to lose weight may be even more difficult. Not only is it a sensitive topic that could very easily become a heated argument, but we also know that it’s almost impossible to get another person to do something that they don’t want to.

Telling your wife she needs to lose weight can be done if you make it clear your concern is coming from a place of love, if you are willing to lead by example, and if you make a concerted effort to help her lose weight by taking certain measures at home.

When we love someone we want what is best for them, but we also don’t want to be overly judgemental or try and tell them how to conduct their lives. Telling someone they need to lose weight can be incredibly difficult and may result in long-term damage to our relationship with that person. But…there are a few ways that may make the situation easier.

I have been the wife who needed to be told that maybe I should think about dropping a few pounds…and I’ve also been on the other side of telling my husband that he needed to lose weight. Let’s explore how to best deal with the sensitive subject of telling your wife (or any partner that you love) that she needs to lose weight.

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How to Clearly Tell Your Wife to Lose Weight

Every year, close to half of all Americans say that they are trying to lose weight through the next calendar year. And, more than half say they have recently tried dieting and have failed.

Over one-third of the population is overweight, according to size ratio and

BMI calculators that can be found in your doctor’s office or on the internet. And that number is, unfortunately, growing every year.

That’s a lot of people focused on their waistline, scale, and overall health. And sadly, even though most people who are overweight have reported that they are aware of it and want to do something about it, most end up falling short and never making the progress they want to.

Your wife may be in one of those groups, and has already been working on losing weight and you are trying to figure out what you can do to help her. Or, she’s not at all interested in losing weight,  and you’d like to encourage her to take her health more seriously.

It’s hard to help someone else lose weight, but there are steps you can take to make it clear that you would like for them to focus on weight loss and put their overall health as a higher priority.

1. Make It Clear You Are Coming From a Place of Love

This is a big one in the world of weight loss.

As we have already determined, losing weight is a challenge. Just like anything, habits die hard, and learning how to change our lifestyle is more difficult than just snapping our fingers and making it happen.

Weight loss is by far one of the hardest areas in our lives to make a change. And having a loved one, like a wife or other partner, not understand that their weight has become problematic is even harder to deal with than our own weight loss, because we don’t want to hurt their feelings or – even worse – be critical of their size and where they are in their overall journey.

But – if you’ve gotten to a point with your wife where you just can’t hold back any longer, it might be time to have a serious conversation about her overall health and how it’s affecting her (and your) long-term plans.

Trying to talk to someone about a problem, whether it’s weight, spending money, or any other issue that could be seen as problematic is not going to be fun. That said, you owe it to yourself and the other person to have that conversation. If you don’t, the problem will just fester and your resentment will continue to build.

If you are truly concerned about your wife’s weight and want to tell her that you think she needs to lose some, then your best bet would be to approach the subject from a place of love.

Don’t judge her, criticize her or admonish her. Try to have the conversation in a neutral place, and make it as easy as possible for her not to get defensive. Remember, most people who are overweight are not happy about it either.

Remind her how much you love her and will always love her, but you are worried about her weight gain and the role it is going to play in her life and yours as a couple.

I can’t guarantee you this is going to change things. People don't change because you tell them to. Or even if you shame or bully them too.

If you want to talk to your wife about her weight and make it clear you think she needs to lose some,  then the only way to talk through it is by talking about it from a place of love.

The rest is then up to her.

2. Lead By Example

Another way to tell your wife she needs to lose weight is to lead by example.

You’ve heard the adage…practice what you preach, right?

One way to “tell” your wife that she needs to lose weight is by showing her that you are committed to your own weight loss journey.

Maybe you don’t have the amount of weight to lose that she does, but you probably still have areas in your own physical health that could be improved.

Would you benefit from more exercise after work instead of flopping down on the couch as soon as dinner is over? Could you take a more active role in cooking at home instead of always eating out?

Is there a sport you both have been talking about taking up but just haven’t been motivated enough to try? Is this a good time to finally join that new gym down the street?

Any advancements you make toward your own physical improvements are going to help your wife to think more carefully about hers. And, when you lead by example you have a much greater chance of motivating someone to get excited about their own journey, instead of making them feel bad about themselves.

Show your wife how fun and rewarding it can be to lose weight! Help her get inspired by the journey instead of seeing it as cumbersome.

Watching you take your physical health more seriously may just be what she needs in order to do the same.

3. Take New Measures At Home

This is similar to the suggestion above, but has more to do with your household overall than your own journey in particular.

How can you create a home environment in which it will be hard for your wife to fail at losing weight?

Take a few minutes and walk through your kitchen. No, I mean really walk through it.

What foods are lurking in your pantry that you could throw away? Cookies, chips, processed snacks – these are all laden with calories and difficult for a person who is on a diet to pass up.

How about your fridge? Is it full of to-go boxes and premade foods that are easy to grab and eat, but not the healthiest when it comes to losing weight?

If you want to make it clear to your wife that she needs to lose weight, you need to rid your pantry and fridge of all the empty-calorie or high-calorie foods that make it hard for her to do so.

Another great measure you can take at home is to look at other areas of your house that may be prohibiting your wife’s weight loss besides the kitchen.

Is all the activity in your home set up around the television? Whenever there is “down time” in your home, is it directed around the couch and Netflix, or lounging in your bedroom?

Think outside the box and see what areas could be more “activity-friendly” in your house. Perhaps it’s time to invest in some fun, outdoor games, like badminton or cornhole, that would get everyone outside and moving their bodies.

Maybe you could suggest that this be the year you plant a garden together. Not only would this entail some physical exertion and burn some calories but growing your own veggies could definitely lead to some better eating habits for everyone in your house.

By making some simple changes in your home environment, you can help create a space that is friendly toward weight loss and may inspire your wife to put her physical health at a higher priority.

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